How To Masturbate Without Lust

At first glance, the question, “Can you masturbate without lusting?” might sound like an odd question. Same with the question, “Is masturbation without porn a sin?”

For those who feel no guilt or shame about the matter, the question sounds ridiculous. For those who are utterly opposed to all masturbation, regardless of the internal dynamics that drive it, the question sounds irrelevant.

But for those whom lust is their primary concern when it comes to masturbation, the question is of immense importance.

Is it always sinful to masturbate?

Christians disagree on whether the Bible forbids masturbation or not. Some Christians point to Genesis 38:9-10, where Onan sins by “spilling his seed” (i.e. masturbating), to avoid conceiving a child as God commanded. It’s reasonable to conclude from this that God disproves of masturbation, at least in some circumstances. However, this passage alone does not give enough detail to conclude that masturbation itself is always wrong or why.

Why is masturbation sinful?

Jesus said that the things that come from the heart defile a person (Matthew 15:19). So the more important question is this: what is the heart of the matter when it comes to masturbation? What is it about our hearts when we masturbate that does—or doesn’t—make it wrong?

Many Christians have looked to Matthew 5:28 to answer this question. Jesus says, “I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” In other words, sexual sin begins with attitudes of the heart, not merely our outward actions. If a person can commit adultery in their thoughts without the physical act, then it follows that the real sin of masturbation is something deeper than the physical act.

So is it sinful to masturbate without porn?

The Bible is clear that watching pornography is a sin. But many wonder whether it’s still sinful to masturbate if you don’t use porn. Some still struggle with masturbation long after they leave porn behind. But is it really sinful if you’re not looking lustfully at pornography?

It’s important to remember that Jesus’s teaching about lust goes beyond explicit porn. “Adultery in the heart” could be any kind of sexual impurity. See Sexual Purity: What Scripture Teaches About God’s Plan for Sex. So then, just because you aren’t watching porn doesn’t mean that you aren’t lusting when you masturbate.

What the Bible makes clear about masturbation.

Though we haven’t answered the specific question yet (is masturbation itself sinful), we can already see some clear biblical teaching. Scripture teaches at least some masturbation is wrong. Romans 14:23 adds that anything that isn’t of faith is sin. That means that even if masturbation itself isn’t sinful, it’s sinful to masturbate if you believe it’s wrong and do it anyway.

Furthermore, the Bible teaches that when God saves us from our sin, he transforms and changes our hearts and behaviors—including our sexual habits like masturbation (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Followers of Jesus should seek to submit themselves to his commands and obey him whatever the cost. That means we should be willing to give up masturbation if we feel convicted.

3 Types of People and How They Masturbate

In his book Sex, Men, and God, Doug Weiss says there are three types of men in the world (and, I assume, this goes for women, too):

1. Men who have never masturbated (Type A) – Weiss believes this group of men is the smallest camp of men in the Western world. After years of speaking at men’s conferences, he’s only met 14 men who claim to have never masturbated. In other cultures, Weiss adds, masturbation simply isn’t a cultural norm and is relatively uncommon.

2. Men who do not fantasize or lust during masturbation (Type B) – This type of person stays “connected” to himself during masturbation—they don’t escape into fantasy. For this person, the act is merely performing a bodily function. As such, there is little emotion attached to the experience, and typically no sense of guilt or shame.

3. Men who lust during masturbation (Type C) – These men are “disconnected” during the act of masturbation; their focus is on a mental image, an actual image, or an object.

Why does it matter if there are different types of masturbation?

In his book, Weiss asks what happens when a Type B masturbator grows up and becomes a pastor, Christian counselor, or Bible teacher. If he universalizes his own experience, this man is likely to think there is nothing wrong with masturbation at all. If Type C men listen to a teacher like this, they either become very confused, or they are encouraged to believe that their lifestyle of fantasy-filled masturbation is okay.

Similarly, if a Type C masturbator becomes a spiritual leader, he will be likely to say that all masturbation is sinful. Type B people are likely to hear this and either get defensive or start feeling a sense of false guilt and shame.

So, is some masturbation OK?

In one sense, because Type B masturbation involves no lust, it would be easy to assume it involves no sin. This is true. But there is another critical question to ask.

What habits are you creating by repeated Type B masturbation? Many feel that the urge to masturbate is out of control. Are you becoming mastered by this habit (see 1 Corinthians 6:12)? If so, you might be reinforcing a false belief that your body is simply your own. Your body is for the Lord (6:13)—and your wife if you are married. “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (6:19b-20).