When is the last time you heard a really great sermon about masturbation? Never, right? Masturbation is one of those topics that’s off-limits in the pulpit but commonplace in the pews. It’s one of those sins that no one wants to discuss but lots of people want to commit. If you want to learn how to stop masturbation as a Christian, you need to get your guidance another way. So here it is. Here are some biblical steps to take to stop masturbating.
Step 1: Admit Your SinPsalm 32:5
Step 2: Forsake PornographyMatthew 5:28-29
Step 3: Resist the DevilJames 4:7
Step 4: Take Every Thought Captive2 Corinthians 10:3-6
Step 1: Admit that Your Masturbation Is a Sin
I acknowledged my sin to You,And my iniquity I have not hidden.I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,”And You forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Psalm 32:5
The first step on your journey to sexual purity is admitting that masturbation is a sin. It’s not a healthy activity. It’s not natural. It’s not a valid way to release stress. It’s not the will of God for you. You are unlikely to learn how to stop masturbation as a Christian until you finally see it for what it is—sin. Here are six ways that masturbation is wicked.
1. Masturbation is a sin because the cure for sexual urges is marriage, not masturbation. The remedy for raging teenage hormones, sexual urges, lustful thoughts and pent up sexual energy is never masturbation. There are only two biblical outlets for sexual desire. One is self-control. The other is marriage.
2. Masturbation is a sin because your marital duty is to your wife, not to yourself. Sex is literally designed to take place between a male and a female, between a husband and a wife. Sex requires two people joining as one. What this means in daily life is that neither a husband nor a wife are to take matters into their own hands where sex is concerned. If they want to have sex, they are to turn to their spouse. Not someone else. And not themself.
3. Masturbation is a sin because you gave authority over your body to your wife. When you married your wife, you gave her authority over your body. That means you gave her decision-making power over when you have sex, and you lost any authority to have sex with anyone else, including yourself. Only your wife has claim to your body for sex. She alone has power over it, to claim the use of it whenever she pleases (with your consent and cooperation, of course).
4. Masturbation is a sin because you can’t do it in faith. You are likely reading this because your conscience troubles you where masturbation is concerned. Your conscience makes you feel guilty and ashamed after the act, so you suspect that the act must be wrong. You do the act in private, and keep it a secret from your fiancé or spouse, so you naturally suspect that it must be sin. After all, “Whatever is not from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). In other words, if you cannot do something with full conviction that the action is right, that action is sinful. If you doubt that something is correct, don’t do it, because doing it is sin.
5. Masturbation is a sin because you can’t do it to the glory of God. Can you masturbate to the glory of God? Can you get alone and pleasure yourself, believing that what you are doing pleases God? If someone peers in the window and sees you masturbating, will you lead them by your example to praise God and embrace His gospel? The answers to these questions are self-evident.
6. Masturbation is a sin because you do it in secret. You don’t need to read any Bible verses to know why masturbation is sin. If you do it in private because you fear getting caught, if you hide the evidence after the deed is done, and if you keep the activity a secret from those you love and whose approval you wish to maintain, then you have your answer. If it is a shame to even speak of the things that the wicked do in secret, then the acts themselves are obviously also shameful.
The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10). Making God the center of your attention helps you appreciate where you stand in relation to His laws, promises, warnings and blessings. Once you understand and believe that your masturbation habit is contrary to God’s laws and His will for you, you are ready to take concrete, practical steps to stop masturbating.
Step 2: To Avoid Self-Pleasuring as a Follower of Jesus, Forsake Pornography
Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
Matthew 5:28-29
Masturbation isn’t an act as much as the Final Act in a predictable, sordid play. The play starts with an image or a memory or other trigger, which leads to lustful thoughts, which leads to physical arousal, which leads to the temptation to satisfy yourself. If you want to quit the activity that always happens at the end of the play, then you must re-write the play. You must tackle your illicit images and thoughts that happen in Act 1.
If you are like most Christian men who are ensnared by a habit of compulsive masturbation, your play opens with pornography. The curtain goes up, and pornographic images fill your view. These images then drive you to lust, then to seek release through masturbation. And the problem with today’s pornography is that it’s designed to inflame your passions. It’s hard-wired to drive you right to the edge of sexual temptation, so that you feel you have no other possible escape from your agony but to masturbate.
The play that you act out is the same one that Jesus speaks of in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:28-29). It starts with a look, leads to lust, and is followed by sexual sin. It begins with you looking at a woman, then looking with lust at her, and then committing adultery with her in your heart. If you follow the looking and the lusting with masturbation, you only compound your sin.
The key to avoiding the sin in the Final Act is to avoid the lust in the First Act. Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you.” In other words, if something causes you to sin by lusting and masturbating, remove it from your life and don’t allow it back in. You learn how to stop masturbation as a Christian by removing the people, places and things that trigger your lust, that fire up your sexual desires, that tempt you to commit sexual immorality. This begins with removing pornography from your life.
There are at least 40 ways to pluck out your right eye so that you are not tempted to masturbate to porn. You must remove porn from your home, your phone, your workplace and everywhere else you are tempted. The key to having a better ending to your play is to change what happens in the First Act. Remove the porn and you reduce the temptation. Remove the stimulus and you lower the lust. Eliminate the arousal and you avoid the masturbation.
Step 3: To Understand How to Avoid Masturbation as a Believer, Resist the Devil
Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
James 4:7
I used to believe that the only way to overcome the temptation to masturbate was to masturbate. That sounds ridiculous, I know. Because it is. But I was deceived. When the urge arrived, I used to think I had no choice but to give in. I thought resisting was futile because I thought the urge to masturbate wouldn’t go away unless I gave in to it.
Today I have victory in this area of my walk with the Lord because I have learned how to stop masturbation as a Christian. I have learned the truth that James speaks of. “Resist the devil,” says James, “and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). In other words, you can make sexual temptation disappear if you take the correct step. You can overcome the temptation to masturbate (or look at porn, for that matter), by doing something when the temptation arrives.
James says you are to “resist the devil.” This word resist is the Greek word that means to stand against, to oppose. It is a verb, an action word. It is an imperative, a command. In other words, resist is a command that you are to obey. In other words, when you are tempted to commit a sexual sin, and when the agent behind that temptation is the devil, there is a command that you are to obey, there is an action that you are to take. That action is resistance. You are to stand against the devil. You are to oppose the devil.
And what happens when you resist the devil? He flees. James doesn’t suggest that the devil might flee, or that he will think about fleeing. James promises that the devil will flee—guaranteed. And also notice that the devil doesn’t simply leave, or walk away. He flees. That is, he runs away, he vanishes out of your sight.
But notice the best part of this promise. The devil flees from you. This is the heart of the issue, isn’t it? When you are enduring a terribly strong temptation, when you are experiencing an unusually powerful urge to masturbate, you have the promise that the devil, the person behind your temptation, will flee from you. He will run away from you. He will vanish from your presence.
This promise is personal. God promises you, as an individual believer, that the devil will flee from you, guaranteed, if you meet just one condition: you resist. I have learned through trial and error that the best way for me to resist the devil when in the midst temptation is to stop what I am doing and do something else. If I am in bed all alone, I get out of bed and get dressed. If I am at my laptop, I close the lid and leave the room. If I am in the shower and a wicked thought enters my mind, I replace it by singing a hymn, or praying out loud. The lesson here is that, to resist the devil, you must do something. Resist is a verb. When you resist, you take action. When you take action, the devil flees from you.
Masturbation is never inevitable. And temptation never lasts, not if you do something about it. This is hard to believe, I know. Before I got victory in this area, I simply couldn’t imagine going months without pleasuring myself. I thought the temptation to masturbate would never go away unless I gave in. I was wrong. Since then I have learned how to stop masturbation as a Christian. I have learned firsthand that the temptation to masturbate, no matter how strong, goes away when the devil goes away. And the devil goes away when I resist him. I took five decades to discover this truth. Your results may differ.
Step 4: To Learn How to Stop Masturbation as a Christian, Take Every Thought Captive
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.
2 Corinthians 10:3-6
Masturbation is a sin that takes place between your ears, not between your legs. Sure, it involves a physical act, but the act is simply the consummation of a sin that starts in your mind. If you want to avoid masturbating and kick the habit for good, you must work on your mind. Victory over sexual sin starts with changing the way you handle your thoughts.
This is the truth that Paul communicates in his second letter to the church at Corinth. “Bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” says Paul. In other words, when a wicked thought enters your mind, when an evil desire stirs in your thoughts, take it captive. Make it your prisoner. Lock it in shackles so it can’t do what it wants to do, which is lead you to sin.
This phrase, “bringing every thought into captivity,” means to subdue, to ensnare, those thoughts that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God. And Paul doesn’t say just some thoughts, or just a few thoughts, or even many thoughts, but “every thought.” Every thought that enters your mind that has any chance of leading you to masturbate is a thought that you must bring into captivity by subduing it and ensnaring it. You must act quickly and decisively if you want to learn how to stop masturbation as a Christian.
One way to take every thought captive is to quote scripture whenever you think a wicked thought. As soon as you hear something, see something or read something that gets you thinking about masturbating, quote a verse from the Bible out loud. Here are a few versus you can consider using, tweaked to make them personal:
- “Father in heaven, lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from the evil one” (Matthew 6:13)
- “For I do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with my weaknesses, but I have one who has been tempted in every way, just as I am—yet he did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15)
- “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)
- “I am blessed when I endure temptation; for when I have been approved, I will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him” (James 1:12)
If you want to learn how to stop masturbation as a Christian, change the way you think. When you change the way you think, you change the way you act. When you change the way you handle wicked thoughts, you change the trajectory of your day—and your life.